Thriving

 

It's been an emotional weekend. On Saturday we visited my daughter at her University for the first time. We'd purposely left it three weeks, purely because we wanted to make sure she settled in, established her own groove, her own way of living there - and coping with all the things adult life / university life throws at you without the parental 'stabilisers'. 

There were a few moments when she started out where she found it really tough. We had a couple of tearful WhatsApp calls, and a few moments where it felt like we'd need to go and see her, but those things feel like fleeting moments of her doubting herself, and doubting her ability - when we've always told her that she's capable of pretty much anything she puts her mind to. 

I've been an emotional wreck for a while, worrying about her, worrying that she's upset or not having a good time. But this weekend, some three weeks on from her starting, we took the long journey up north to spend the day with her. 

When I first saw her, I barely recognised her. She was smiling, confident, GLOWING. She was happy, it came off her in waves, you could see it. She STRUTTED! I have never seen her do that. 

We gave her the biggest hug. I was trying really hard not to break down in tears and I think I did OK, and she was so happy and smiling that it just dissipated any emotional outburst I could've been capable of. 

She's established herself so well, and best of all she's making friends left right and centre, because people do genuinely realise that she's a lovely person, and worth knowing. 

She's never been that confident in her ability to 'find her people' yet she always does. She went to a brand new school in Sixth Form and had the same reservations at first, but in the modern world it's so much easier for teenagers to make friends and she very quickly got to know some of the girls there, and make some solid friends really early on. Towards the end of sixth form, as friendships always do, there was a waxing and waning and by the time she left, she only had one really good friend who'd stuck by her through thick or thin.

At University it's a different ball game. I told her that so many times. I told her that, yes, there would still be those horrible bitchy spoilt girls who are selfish and inconsiderate, but they would be the minority (and they are, just like I told her), and the friendships she made at University would be different. People would be drawn to her, because she's beautiful, kind and not stuck up. And lo and behold, I was right again. 

This all sounds like me being very self-congratulatory but the credit is all hers. She toughed it out, persisted, dug her heels in like she always does. She assessed her situation with expertise, and she understood what she needed to do in order to make those friendships and also thrive in the day-to-day business of living as a student. 

She cooks! She cooks so well! I always used to be the cook at home, and I took her some Pizza dough to make her own pizza with (as she'd been missing it as one of the home comforts she told us that she couldn't replicate up there). So the header image is her very first effort at making a pizza from scratch, and it was amazing! She sends me photos of her meals, because she knows her dad well and knows that the thing I'd be worrying about would be her wellbeing, whether she's eating OK, eating good food and not living off instant ramen like her flatmates. 

In fact she's getting really snooty about food now, and described one of their meals as "Hideous pasta slop" which was quite amusing!

We spoilt her rotten for the day, taking her to a massive supermarket to stock up on goodies and essentials, before whisking her off to a pub for dinner. She kept joking that she wanted to sneak back into the car to come home with us but it was said in jest (but it gave me a real heart pang, because I'm sure I'd have happily let her!)

The next day I was feeling a bit down, because we'd had such a lovely day - and I got to see her face again (I'd missed her face). I'm tearing up as I write this but they are solely happy tears, happy because she was so brilliantly adapting to that life and loved it. I made a point of asking her "Are you happy? Is this what you want" and without a moment's pause she said "Yes! I love it here" and that was enough for me, enough to settle my mind and it had been the very thing I'd been waiting to hear. 

The journey up there and back is pretty hefty but it was so worth it. My girl, she's a student, and she is THRIVING!