Pancreatitis is the most pain you can be in bar childbirth. I knew something was wrong one evening when I had an identical pain to what I had just before I had my gall bladder whipped out. Weirdly 24 hours later I felt fine, but from then on the pain got worse until it was agonising, and I was whipped into hospital by a pair of absolute angels (two awesome ladies who drove their ambulance so smoothly it was like riding on air, so very welcome!)
I spent 2 days in hospital with a combination of nil by mouth and hospital food (the latter was way better than you'd expect, I've no idea what other people eat in hospital but I had some good grub). Then two weeks in recovery at home on a combination of mind-bending painkillers (who knew Codeine was basically mescalin in tablet form), laxatives (because when you take codeine you end up really constipated), anti-sickness pills (most welcome as I spent most of the 2 days in hospital throwing up, and I really REALLY hate throwing up) and good old fashioned paracetamol which took the edge of the remaining pain to a point where I actually feel reasonably OK at the moment.
Amongst all this kerfuffle there was the revelation that I also might be lactose intolerant ("Might be" as it's blatantly obvious that if I eat cheese or drink milk, being covered in a nasty rash like heat rash isn't normal - but because the system is so bunged up with bad actors claiming to have this allergy or that intolerance, it's nigh on impossible to be properly diagnosed or tested on the NHS and private testing is extortionately priced - wonderful, thank you very much social media for encouraging everyone to wear an allergy like a fucking badge of honour).
Advice from my awesome GP was to try cutting out dairy for a month to see what happens, which I've dutifully done for about a week now since I started to recover from the Pancreatitis. Screening foodstuffs for milk, milk protein, milk powder, lactose or christ knows what else they can squeeze out of a cow is tricky stuff, as is screening foodstuffs for low fat (other advice to avoid more pancreatic attacks was to avoid foods with more than 4g of saturated fat per 100g - try doing THAT and not having an utterly miserable time of it).
On the hopeful side, I did at least find one decent plant-based cheese (or Fauxmage as the term is nowadays). This stuff:
...is actually quite nice. Though it's made of coconut oil (as most plant-based cheese replacements seem to be) it's got a really nice cheddar-like texture and a subtle smokey flavour that makes a decent cheese and pickle sarnie. The same company also make a brie-like soft cheese and a wonderfully veiny blue cheese, and I'm definitely going to have to try those.
I've also switched to oat milk, though I've been drinking that for a while anyway (I think I've got used to it but there's no substitute for creamy milk on your brekkie). I also like almond based yoghurts, though again they're not quite as creamy as the real thing. All in all I'm coping OK with cutting dairy.
What I'm not really coping with is the lack of treats. So many foods are now off the menu. No more chips, pizza, cakes, biscuits, chocolate snacks, sweets, crisps - basically anything I've previously enjoyed. No greasy takeaways, reduced oil (really reduced already anyway but even less now). It makes it very difficult to meal plan as my two girls now have to share a house with someone who's even more of a fussy eater than they are.
It's been a tough transition. I got really grumpy about it last week and shouted that if I had to continue living on a diet like this, I'd rather not continue living - but that's just stupidity. It can only be a good thing to drop a few waist sizes and though I'm now well below my normal average weight (and I do feel pretty frail because of it), I can hopefully build back my fitness and get back to normal.
Signing up for the couch to 5k challenge is next (though I'm not quite well enough to kick that off yet), and I have been taking walks again at lunchtime. I'm also back to work but having 21 days off really did make me realise what it would be like being retired, and I am finding it tough to care about any of the usual rubbish at work any more.
So I'm still here. For now. I really don't want to go through that again, so I'm hoping all the new measures I'm taking will help.
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