Clear as a bell

 

For a number of years I suffered with terrible hearing. At first it was merely not being able to hear high pitched sounds, a bit of tinnitus, and a general dullness of hearing. 

Eventually things got worse, and I began to find it difficult to keep track of conversations, even with people sitting at the same table as me. There were several instances where my ears would become completely blocked, and I'd just struggle along with hearing in one ear, or worse, limited hearing in both. 

I'd tried things like pouring olive oil down my lugholes (yeah, that's a thing), and getting irrigation for wax removal (useless) but I'd never tried microsuction until just before christmas when a period of complete deafness became the last straw, and I booked myself into Bayfields (a local eyecare and ear care centre) and went through  microsuction. 

Bayfields were great, and the consultant explained the whole procedure. A quick ear examination showed that my left ear was completely blocked by wax, and my right ear was about 80% blocked, so it was pretty obvious the poor guy would have his work cut out for him. 

Nonetheless he got on with the 'mining operation' and though there was mild pain and that weird sensation of it sounding like you've got a vacuum cleaner shoved down your earhole, it worked perfectly, and I regained my hearing. 

Coming out of the treatment centre was weird. The world was LOUD, I mean so flipping loud! All the noises that I'd got used to not hearing felt like sawblades going through my head, but I really could hear in fine detail - and when I got home I could hear every single word my wife and daughter said to me (I think they preferred me being deaf tbh but it was nice not to be saying "Eh? Eh?" like Old Father Time after every sentence. 

All the noises in the house were louder - and though I have had a love/hate relationship with wax earplugs over the years (which probably made the wax build-up worse tbh but trading never using them again against a good night's sleep from using them and isolating all the background noise in our locale was a no-brain choice). 

I could hear the breadmaker beeping again from downstairs. I could hear the washing machine cycle finishing (devices like those don't cater for the hard of hearing do they!) Previously I relied on setting a kitchen timer for these things but now I could hear them even from the very top of the house (we live in a tall house). 

I look forward to being able to hear my nephew speak (he's a little quiet and shy, so always talks in a tiny whisper). I look forward to being able to hear my class questions when I teach. So yeah, it was worth the £75 it cost me for the session (thankfully for both ears) and I'll definitely be doing a follow-up when I need to. 

Off the back of the session I also booked a free hearing check which revealed no damage to my hearing, which was great to know. Slightly weaker range on my left ear than my right (most old farts like me have a range of sounds / db range that they can hear that often excludes high pitched sounds) but again Bayfields did a great job (so if there's one near you, they're worth a visit if you're in a similar predicament). 

Alas it's not all great news. I could hear all the noises my car makes (it is 15 years old, so it's a bit of an old shed!) and of course the noise of my delightful neighbour who is the only noisy neighbour in our street (just a damned shame he lives right opposite us and loves to play the drums, bass and trumpet or listen to absolutely awful music loudly in his back garden during the warmer months). So swings and roundabouts for sure, but I'll take being able to hear properly rather than needing a hearing aid or being like my grandad, who was a constant pain in the arse with his deafness and refusal to wear his hearing aid or change the batteries.