Has anyone seen my wife? Well you should, she's awesome!

 

As we approach 24 years of being together, and 20 years of marriage, I've been really surprised lately at just how my wife and I still seem to be crazy about each other after all that time. I don't want to make anyone spontaneously vomit, or provoke some kind of hideous jealousy but it genuinely does feel like we belong together, and that after so many years we're still learning stuff about each other that we didn't know. 

Lately she's been extremely attentive, and for someone like me that's like catnip as I've always craved a certain...something...that I've never had much in relationships. Not the kind of horrible stalker-ey "I called you and you weren't there, where were you?" kind of stuff, but just a level of being comfortable with each other where bodily contact and other gestures come into play a lot. 

It's weird though. For a very long time I wasn't sure it would ever be like this. My wife has her own battles to fight, suffering from epilepsy and always trying to find the perfect balance in her medication between being able to lead a normal life, feeling like a zombie, or worse - having regular seizures. 

It's one of the many things that make me wonder if she's finally hit that balance, and all the times before were some slight imbalance that she had to really fight hard against to maintain acceptable levels of being able to cope. 

I have massive anxiety about most things (regular blog readers will know this), but I always consider that my problems (largely self-made) are nothing compared to not knowing when your next seizure might be or what might trigger it. So in some ways perhaps both of us fighting separate life-affecting things makes us stronger and makes us more resolute to stay together and fight those battles side by side. 

I can't imagine anyone being a better mum than her either. She genuinely engages and bonds with our daughter over just about everything, and is massively supportive and hyper-organised which is just as well because I'm utterly useless at even the most mundane things when it comes to keeping our daughter on track (I lend a geeky hand from time to time to make sure she's OK and feels well supported too but nowhere near as effectively as my wife). 

So we'll celebrate our 20th Anniversary hopefully by sneaking off somewhere alone for the first time in ages. It'll be awesome, and I look forward to growing old (OK in my case older) with her.