Answer The Questions Dammit - Part 1, the easy stuff

 

You know the drill, there's an internet meme doing the rounds that asks a bunch of random dumb questions that you absolutely cannot resist, because it means you get the chance to try and be funny, clever, profound or equally dumb back. 

Drawn like a moth to a flame, I'm grabbing them and answering them. This post will probably be of no possible interest to anyone, but when the hell did that ever stop people over-sharing? So fire away, dig in, let's go go go!

Question 1: What is your favourite thing to smell that's neither perfume nor your body's natural scent?

My wife. Seriously, she always smells great. Start of the day, end of the day. How do some people just naturally do that?

Question 2: Horses, Y or N? Defend your answer.

No. I never like animals that look big enough or in some cases clumsy or crazy enough to kill you purely by sheer size or their ability to stamp you flat into the dirt. See also: Cows.

Question 3: If you could be perpetually youthful in mind and body, but it meant outliving everyone you love, would you do it?

No. How the hell would I go first, then come back to haunt people if this came to pass?

Question 4: What was a superstition you made up and slowly, over time, ended up believing?

That any piece of IT equipment I either own, or become responsible for in a business-critical way, will die its arse off the minute I either need it or go on holiday and can't wetnurse it. 

Question 5: What sounds do you hear often in passing that cheer you up?

Cats meowing or purring. 

Question 6: A minor god grants you a boon, either the gift of being able to grow gills to breathe and swim great depths underwater or to grow wings and fly to great heights. You can go about as fast as you would at a full sprint. What good deed did you receive the boon for and do you take gills or wings?

This is trickier than it first seems because there are actually two questions here. One - what good deed did you do? Probably not being a shit dad?

And what would you take? I would say wings, even though the question drops a really whopping great big "BUT you can only fly as fast as you could run at a full sprint" with no further clarification of the rules. I suspect there would be less that would kill me in the air than would kill me undersea, so I opt to fly (though not fly over anywhere in the US where they have extremely relaxed gun law, so that's ALL of the US then)

That's it for part 1. More questions and answers soon....