The secret to happiness?

 

There was this guy I used to work with, and everyone nicknamed him "PZC". When I first worked at the place, that's how he was introduced and it took me a long time (being an anxious clown n'all that) to sum up the courage to get to know him, and ask him about the nickname. 

"Oh, PZC? ProZac Cornflakes!" he laughed. "It's because everyone swears I eat Prozac-covered cornflakes every morning before work, which is why I'm always happy, smiley and in a good mood!"

The thing is, by the point I'd summed up the courage to ask, I'd already come to the conclusion myself that this guy was UNNATURALLY happy. It felt like he never had a bad word to say about anyone, even folk who worked in our department and really got on everyone's nerves. He always seemed really happy in his work (as a Reprographics Manager). He had a sharp sense of humour that I never once recall dipping into dark sarcasm or deprecation. He just saw the funny side of life. 

Every time I have a rant about my neighbour's barbecue (every single summer he makes our life a misery by burning things as soon as we open our windows to let in some fresh air - there's something quite satisfying about him being almost the same shape as Pingu now, and I can only imagine that at some point his ticker will crap out, but I'm straying off the plot here...wanker though he is). PZC had somehow unlocked the secret to happiness and I cannot help thinking about him every time I descend into a foul and dark mood (which is frequently at the moment, as I've said many times, "I used to be a people person but people pretty much ruined that for me"). 

Once there was a works Christmas Party and it was one of the few I attended (taps screen, points at "Anxious Clown" blog title once again). I managed to get talking to PZC and had the utter gall to ask him what his secret to happiness was. 

"Just accept that people are going to do things you don't like, and there's not a thing you can do about it"

That was it. That was the sum total of his wisdom, and he was right. More or less "Hell is other people" but slightly less snappy and succinct. 

There's a new psychological / wellness doctrine that's doing the rounds at the moment called "The Grey Rock Method" (it's not exactly new but in these COVID times it's getting an airing - Grey Rock Method: 6 Tips and Techniques (healthline.com) and this reminds me of PZC and his philosophy on a happy life. 

Grey Rock does make one huge (and in my view erroneous) assumption though. It assumes that the person you're grey-rocking actually cares about anyone else (including you) enough to be A) Aware that you're grey-rocking them and B) that it's actually their behaviour that's causing your behaviour, if that makes sense. PZC was right, in that there is literally no way to get someone to stop burning things the minute the hot weather comes along, there's no way to stop drivers taking shortcuts across the supermarket car park, narrowly avoiding running you down. There's no way to stop people dumping their facemasks outside the pub or shop, letting their dog crap outside your house and not picking it up and literally billions of other things that annoy the hell out of you and cause you to descend into a sweary deep funk. 

Sadly PZC's actual methods of dealing with this stuff became apparent at his leaving do. During weekends he would literally isolate himself from any other humans (I'd almost call these 'cheat days' in terms of dealing with a problem where you perceive that others are the issue and not you). However, his weekends in isolation (and I would imagine his retirement plans of moving to a remote scottish island to live out his days) are pretty unworkable for most people, but the grey rock stuff - well, there might be something in it after all. For me, it's nigh on impossible to bite my tongue every time I have to close my windows at home, or shove earplugs into my ears to block out antisocial behaviour in our burg. PZC had the answer, but like all things in life, you've got to have enough dough to get you there.